Last time I visited Pen island with my girlfriend, she was hungry for some beef. Make this dish and your girlfriend will want the beef bad!

Ingredients:

• One pack of mushrooms whole or sliced
• One can of tomato paste.
• One or two lite beers.
• Six cloves of garlic.
• One pack of baby carrots.
• Six large beef short ribs.

Directions:
Fire up your grill–preferably a charcoal grill. Get it to medium hot. Put an iron skillet on the grill and get it hot. Insert the beef short ribs onto the grill to brown them (3 minutes a side.) Set aside beef short ribs on a plate. Take the iron skillet off the grill and pour a mixture of tomato paste and the beer into the iron skillet. Put the beef short ribs back in the skillet and dump the mushrooms and carrots into it. Mince the 6 cloves of garlic and put it into the skillet.

Cover the iron skillet with aluminum foil and place onto medium-hot grill. Cook for two or three hours, making sure that the liquid does not boil away. If you need more liquid, add water or beer.

Ribs are done when meat falls apart when picked up with a fork.

Note: if you have a iron dutch oven, that works better than the iron skillet and foil.

Serve with a room temperature grain alcohol mixed with purple Kool aid (don’t add water, just the powder). Keep drinking the alcohol and eat nothing but Twizlers and EZ Cheese for a week. Once the boundary between your conscious and subconscious mind blurs, steal a male donkey from a local farmer. Ride the donkey (only stop for extra Depends undergarments, vienna sausages, and pickled eggs) until you reach Jonesboro, Arkansas. Go inside the nearest John Deere dealership and order a 5003 Series Tractor and a bowl of sheet metal strips. When the salesman says “What tha hell?”, tell them your name is Optimus Prime and punch that stupid donkey in the mouth!